A couple of days ago I said I’d write about what may have been my worst ever Megabus passenger. If by some chance in a million he stumbles upon this and recognises himself he’ll know he wont be welcome on Megabus without an attitude change!

I began boarding my passengers in Victoria Coach Station and this guy was in the first few, he showed a booking reference for Bournemouth, I said “Fine. Thanks” and he started up the steps of the bus while I was checking the next passenger’s booking reference. He then turned around and butted into the conversation I was having with the next passenger “Do you stop at Bournemouth Station?” “No” was my answer and I then went back to my talking to the next passenger. Again he interrupted “Where do you stop?” “The Triangle and Bournemouth Uni” was my response. I tried to check the next passenger’s booking reference but this guy was not going to either move up the steps and sit down, or get off the bus and wait until I’d finished with others (I was stood outside the bus by the door) to discuss what he should have checked when booking. He just stayed blocking the way for everyone else and demanding attention! “What’s The Triangle?”, note there is never a please in this guy’s questions. I tried to be polite but didn’t quite know how to say it “I don’t want to sound facetious but it’s three roads which form a Triangle with grass in the middle. That’s the official Bournemouth Council name for the place and I believe it’s been called that since Victorian times”. “How far is it from the Railway Station?” “I’m not sure because I don’t live anywhere near and the bus route isn’t a straight line – I’d guess at 25 minutes walk”. “Where’s Bournemouth Uni?” “Talbot” “What’s Talbot?” “The name of the district in which the Uni’s located”. “How far is that from the station?” “Further than The Triangle is”. And so it went on and on and on. “Where’s Poole?” “Is Talbot or The Triangle nearest to Poole?”. “What buses go there?” “What times do the buses go?” “How much will the fare be?” In the end I was blunt and told him I couldn’t help anymore and it really would have been best if he’d thought of checking all these things before buying the ticket.

As soon as I finally managed to pull out of Victoria he was on his mobile, not one call but call after call, talking to people about where his bus would stop and asking them where he should get off. From what I gathered each person gave him a different answer which created the need to call another person and get another different answer!

Getting out of London was hell because the elevated section of the M4 between junctions 1 and 2 was closed – the traffic backed up to Knightsbridge. I just had to endure it until the Hogarth roundabout where I could then take the A316. I kept the passengers updated on what the problem was and told then I’d give them an estimated arrival time once we’d cleared the traffic. In the end I told them we’d be 45 minutes late which turned out to be accurate. But as we pulled up in Winchester the guy started again. “Why doesn’t the timetable allow for these things?”. “I beg your pardon. What ‘things’ do you mean?” “Road closures” What an areshole!!! I told him that if he could let megabus know 6 months in advance of delays due to to traffic accidents, giving the date, time and place I was sure they’d be grateful!! “It’s always like that coming out of London” he said as if he used the route everyday …. yet doesn’t know where the bus stops or understand when it’s explained.

I handed the bus over to another driver at Winchester. The next morning the driver who’d taken over from me said “I had a complete and utter tosser on the bus last night. He kept asking where Ringwood was?” “Is it anywhere near Bournemouth Station?” “Do buses go to Poole from Ringwood?” :-)