As I approached the bus stop in Stockbridge today I was struck by dread. “Should I pretend not to see anybody waiting and just carry on?”. “Should I pretend not to have heard the bell requesting the stop?”. “Perhaps I could apologise and say I didn’t hear the bell and pull up a little bit down the road”. These were the thoughts running through my mind as I spotted an irregular (thank God!) but known to me passenger waiting at the stop. What caused me so much dread? Garlic breath. This lady’s breath is so deadly she could be charged with genocide. Some people pop peanuts, I think this lady pops raw garlic cloves. I’m sure she must see the bus approaching and shove a couple of cloves into her mouth just to ‘freshen up’ her garlic breath. Despite being old enough to have a concessionary travel card she pays. Aaaargh. This extends the time she spends breathing all over me. For my part I pretend the offside mirror needs adjusting but simply putting my hand out of the open window to adjust it is not enough at this time, I put my whole head and upper torso outside as well!
When we got to Winchester and everyone was leaving the bus I dreaded her passing me so it was mirror adjusting time again. Then I heard her asking the times of the buses back. I blurted out “Sorry, I’m not sure of the Saturday timetable. Ask at the office with the blue door”. Thus I was able to get rid of her but inflicted her deadly breath on the Leading Drivers :-(
There were only three buses going back to Stockbridge, me in 35 minutes (knew she wouldn’t want that), one at 14:35, then me again at 16:05 So I spent the afternoon in sure and certain anticipation that she’d be catching the 16:05 and I’d be subjected to it all again. 16:05 came and she wasn’t there. Hooray! I assume she must have caught the 14:05 which was being driven by Dennis Dash (a regular commentator here). Did a lady with very bad garlic breath catch your bus?